Befriending Our Bodies

If I had a pound for every time someone said to me "I can't do yoga, I'm not flexible enough" I would be a rich woman indeed (well maybe not quite, but you get the gist).

In fact, as I sit here writing in a co-working space a lovely woman said this to me only a few moments ago. 

It always make me feel sad. 

When I began practicing yoga 30 years ago I didn't have a desire to be more bendy. I had a strong desire to feel more calm. And I had heard that yoga could help. 

I had seen images of yoga in books - with people creating strange looking shapes with their bodies - but my main knowledge of the practice was that it helped you feel more at ease. And boy did I desire to feel that. 

Fast forward 30 years (and with social media in our pockets) and many people's perception of yoga is that to be 'good' at it you need to be bendy. That 'advanced' yoga is found in a level of fitness or flexibility. 

Yet such perceptions are far from the truth.

Words I love from the teacher Donna Farhi (in her brilliant book Bringing Yoga to Life) are: 

“Instead of measuring success in practicing a Yoga posture by how far we go, we can ask how present we are in each moment. How aware are we of the movement of our breath, the sensations in our body, and the thoughts that pass through us. Instead of judging the correctness of a Yoga posture by how we look, we can inquire what positioning makes us feel most integrated and honours rather than injures our unique physical body.”

The poses (known as 'asana') are an important part of modern yoga, but they are there to serve a purpose rather than to be the goal of our practice. 

They offer us a valuable pathway back home to ourselves, to tune into our bodies, to remember to reconnect with, listen to and learn from them.

Are we feeling bright or tired?
Is there a need for movement or rest?
Where do we feel tightness or release? 
What move us closer or further from ease? 

Within our practice our bodies aren't there to be battled with but befriended. This doesn't mean we have to back away from challenges but rather that we approach ourselves with care along the process.

Our practice is a space for connection and exploration (rather than performance and perfectionism). We can use it to marvel at our strengths as well as tenderly meeting points of tension. We can remember the space we have to breathe as well as giving ourselves permission to soften. 

As I write in my book, Weaving Mindfulness & Compassion into Yoga Teaching, 

"Our practice offers us insights into our relationship with our bodies. Is our relationship a friendly one? Are we connecting to, listening to, loving and nourishing these bodies? Or are we ignoring, berating or even battling with them? Are there places calling for our attention or places we zone out from, patterns of holding so habitual we no longer notice them? Our answer will likely vary day-to-day, through ups and downs, illness and health.

When practicing mindfully, our yoga practice is about so much more than 'using' or 'doing' poses with our bodies, it is about reconnecting to them, learning to embody them, listen to them, tend to them and, dare we consider it, even enjoy, befriend and feel grateful for them."

So this week see if you could find a moment to check in with your precious body as if you were checking in with a dear friend. It can be interesting to notice what you hear in response. 

Here is a beautiful poem by Nayyirah Waheed that may resonate when you do ... 

and i said to my body. softly. 'i want to be your friend.'
it took a long breath. and replied 'I have been waiting my whole life for this.'