Mindfulness, in the midst of this.

Last week I was lucky to be somewhere where there was about 30 minutes of rainfall. It actually took me a moment to realise what the sound was.

My next thought (in true British style with the weather) was "oh no, I've not got a coat|" before realising that actually nothing felt more blissful than being outside, feeling the rain on my skin after so many weeks without it.

Sometimes it's only when something is scarce that we appreciate its value. My heart goes out to the people and beings for whom the impact of this summer is more than feeling overly hot and bothered. 

That said, many of us from what I hear are feeling hot and bothered after weeks of heat without rain or respite. I've heard from many students saying how difficult it has felt to sleep, that brains are feeling tired and foggy, that bodies feel heavy and floppy. Sustaining this for weeks is hard. 

I found myself hot and bothered on Saturday in the midst of yet another train delay on a hot day (I'm becoming very good pen pals with Delay and Repay). 

As I sat on the platform, feeling overloaded with luggage and irritation, I caught myself adding fuel to my own inner fires of frustration. I questioned whether I could be a bit more patient, gentle and mindful with the situation. 

In these moments there is an understandable desire to reach into a practice to make the difficult feelings 'go away'. But that's not really the answer. 

The power of mindfulness isn't to make everything feel peaceful, but rather to find greater peace within the reality of how we are feeling. 

And boy this can make all the difference. 

So I took a moment to pause and acknowledge that actually I was hot, bothered and cross. Rather than resisting it, casting blame for it, or seeking to change it, I took a moment to acknowledge it. 

In doing so space opened up to breathe. 

I could feel my heart open a little more towards myself and the many people also having a difficult day (for many more difficult than mine). 

Letting the words "may I bring some kindness towards this" flow with my breath brought with it some relief. 

I could feel my body soften. 

The frustration didn't immediately go away, but it sat side by side with the breath and with the words that offered it a bit more space, care and calmness around it.

So this week remember that being 'mindful' doesn't mean that you have to feel peaceful. Often it’s about finding greater peace ‘in the midst of this’.

You are not failing if you are feeling hot and bothered (or sad, angry, tired or irritable). 

But can you open up some space to acknowledge how you feel and be gentle with yourself in the midst of it. It may not make it go away, but you may find it offers a kinder, more spacious container for it.