The Gift of Imperfection

I don’t know about you but my social media feeds are increasingly suggesting posts filled with filtered faces and facelift recoveries (it probably doesn’t help that out of curiosity I click them!). 

Yet in taking to a friend recently we agreed that what speak to us most (both in life and online) is when someone shows up as they are, unfiltered, unflattered, but with their personality shining through. The ones where people admit to the challenges life brings and share their journey in navigating it. 

In a world increasingly dominated by AI polishing and perfecting what we share with the world these authentic human connections feel more important than than ever. 

In watching them my heart opens not just to them but to myself. I can relate to them. This after all is what it is to be human navigating life with all its joys and challenges. The bumpy journey feels so much easier when we remember that we are not alone, we are in this together.  

A podcast I listened to this week (The Yoga Therapy Hour by Amy Wheeler) referred to this too. She cited a man who had an AI girlfriend (he had screens in each room to 'interact' with her). He commented on how much happier he was is this relationship than a human one. I can only assume this is because this 'perfect' partner enabled his needs to forever be met, his feelings validated, his opinions not questioned.

But as with the filters and facelifts I felt sad about the loss that we experience when we celebrate perfection over humanness and caring, complex connections.  We learn from differences and difficulties. Rather than only seeking happiness, can we seek wholeness. 

It reminded of these words from Kristen Neff in her book Self Compassion: 

“If were perfect, we wouldn’t be human; 

we’d be Barbie & Ken – plastic figures that look good 

but are as dead as doorknobs. 

Warm, breathing, human life is a constantly unfolding wonder, 

not a state of flawless sameness. 

Being alive involves struggle and despair as well as joy and glory. 

To demand perfection is to turn our backs on real life, 

the full range of human experience."

I was thinking of this as I travelled on the underground this morning and took in the people around me. I was struck by beautiful our differences and imperfections can be and I found myself looking at a few people while inwardly saying. 

"May I see your beauty" 
"May I appreciate your challenges"
"May I sense our connectedness" 

And it felt nice to do so.

So this week, in a world sometimes fixated on perfectionism and division, take a moment to look out for the gifts we find in connection and imperfection.