Authentic, Imperfect, Caring Connections
This week is Mental Health Awareness Week and it got me pondering on what I feel is most essential in supporting my mental health.
The answer for me was immediately apparent. It's authentic, imperfect, caring connections.
Certainly there a multitude of things that help to maintain my mental (and physical) wellbeing such as yoga, meditation, exercise, nutrition, sleep and nature to name but a few.
But when I am floundering, when it's harder to reach into these things, it's my relationships with friends and family that remind me of who I am and bring me back home to myself. There is such potency in being listened to, being made to laugh, being given a big, caring hug.
As mammals we are biologically designed to be calmed down in the face of kindness. When we feel held by care and connection we feel safe and a sense of belonging. Under these conditions feelings of fear and threat can quieten. There is a feeling of protection which calms us against the harder edges of ourselves and the world.
And so I was a little saddened this weekend to be told of Mark Zuckerberg's thoughts on the role that AI could play in the future in offering people 'virtual friendships'. I will be honest, I've not listened to the podcast yet but the idea of this got me thinking about the value of real, live, messy, joyful, complicated human connections.
Our mental health can be so damaged by our addictions to screens and social media's steering us to strive for perfectionism. Yes relationships can be messy and complicated but this is how we learn and grow.
Would we really want or benefit from a virtual friendships designed to offer a perfect companion whose algorithms continually learn what we want and need.
Where would we learn to be vulnerable, to get things wrong and resolve them, to have difficult conversations, to listen to things that are uncomfortable but important, to hold space without needing to provide answers, to be challenged and challenge when needed. And most importantly, to feel the power of being wrapped in soft, warm, caring arms, which often communicates more than any words can.
I will forever feel grateful to my friends and family for the invaluable emotional safety net that they enable me to move through life with. So maybe this Mental Health Awareness Week we can remember the importance and power of authentic, imperfect, caring connections and remember to give them as much attention as our devices.